Quicksand

Helga walks toward Dr. Anderson’s office. After insisting she needed an appointment today, she’s been given 20 minutes at 11 o’clock. She resents that this is all the time she’s worth to people at Naxos. On her way, Helga notices the beautiful trees that seem so free among the humans at the school, who seem like prisoners in comparison.

Dr. Anderson is the new school principal. Helga doesn’t know him well, but feels he’s much kinder and more well-meaning than the rest of the cruel system at Naxos. Helga becomes irate as she thinks about how annoying and uncomfortable it is that she has to be unkind to a nice man. Helga suddenly feels nervous. Although she’s inclined to turn away, she stubbornly forces herself to push through the desks in the administration building. Helga calms herself as she waits for Dr. Anderson, and thinks that at least she doesn’t have to be nice to any of the clerks sitting in front of her any more.

Helga thinks about the “dull” navy and brown colors that the clerks are forced to wear. The dean of women thinks bright colors are “vulgar” on dark skin, but Helga completely disagrees. She thinks muted colors wash out dark skin, while bright colors make it look “luminous.” It annoys her that people like the dean of women speak constantly about race pride but try to stamp out all the unique things about the black race, such as love of color, dancing, and laughter. Helga, who loves clothes, has had to subtly add small amounts of color into her wardrobe to avoid offending anyone. She chuckles to herself at how much it unnerves other staff members that she’s always so well-dressed.

Helga is called into Dr. Anderson’s office. He’s a young principal in his 30s. Helga suddenly feels a strong urge to burst into hysterical laughter, but she controls herself, and says calmly that she’s leaving Naxos today. Dr. Anderson asks why in his deep, resonant voice, and Helga admits it’s a beautiful setting, but she doesn’t fit in. Dr. Anderson smiles a little, and Helga is immediately angered that he is so relaxed. She suddenly feels angry and wants to hurt him. She says deliberately that she hates Naxos, and it's a petty, cruel, unjust institution that puts people down instead of lifting them up. In fact, it’s more of a “disease” than a school.

Dr. Anderson asks if Helga will stay and help him fix Naxos. She notices his piercing, gray eyes. Helga says that people don’t like her, and she feels like she can’t be herself here. When Dr. Anderson realizes that Helga is only 22, he says she’ll grow less sensitive to injustice, which happens in every community. He pleads with her to stay, talking earnestly about the chance to do something great. Helga suddenly feels compelled to help him, and wants to stay. Dr. Anderson says they need people like Helga. She’s a “lady.” Helga suddenly feels enraged, and retorts that her father was a gambler who abandoned her white immigrant mother. She doesn’t even know if they were married. With that, Helga says she’s leaving today, and storms out of the room.