Matilda

The next morning, before Mr. Wormwood leaves for work, Matilda sneaks into the cloakroom and, using a walking stick, gets her father’s hat off its hook. She carefully squeezes Superglue around the hat’s rim and then puts it back on the rack. When Mr. Wormwood puts the hat on moments later, he doesn’t notice anything—but when he gets to work, he discovers his hat is stuck on his head. And Superglue is strong stuff; it’ll take his scalp off if he pulls too hard. So he tries to look like he’s keeping his hat on deliberately.

When Mr. Wormwood gets home and admits he can’t get his hat off, Mrs. Wormwood tries to yank it off. Mr. Wormwood shrieks and Matilda, nestled in a chair with a book, watches. She innocently asks if her father’s head is swollen. Though Mr. Wormwood suspects his daughter, he knows he has no reason to. Mrs. Wormwood sighs that Mr. Wormwood needs to be careful with the Superglue and not try to glue feathers in his hat while he’s wearing it. Mr. Wormwood shouts at her, incensed at the implication that he meant to glue his hat to his head.

Matilda helpfully notes that a little boy once got Superglue on his finger and stuck it up his nose. People scolded him for a week to stop picking his nose. Mrs. Wormwood scoffs that picking one’s nose is a nasty habit he shouldn’t have been doing anyway, but Matilda notes that she saw Mrs. Wormwood pick her nose yesterday.

Mr. Wormwood looks ridiculous as he wears his hat all evening. He can’t shower, and later, as Mrs. Wormwood watches her husband in his striped pajamas and hat, she thinks he looks “stupid.” Mr. Wormwood can’t sleep that night. In the morning, Mrs. Wormwood cuts the hat away. She cuts away a band of her husband’s hair, but in front, patches of leather stick to his forehead. Matilda earnestly tells her father he looks like he has lice; he must try to get it off. The whole thing is very satisfying for Matilda.