God Help the Child

As a graduate student, Booker is on the way to a lecture when he sees a man with his pants down, watching children on the playground. Blood splatters over Booker’s fists as he beats the man. He then leaves the man lying on the ground, unconscious, with his jeans still unzipped, and heads to the lecture. There, Booker listens to the professor intone about Adam Smith. Four years before, as an undergraduate, Booker dabbled across disciplines but began to suspect that the real answers concerning the oppression of Black people all had to do with money. So, he decided to study economics in graduate school.

Booker reflects on his childhood. His family doesn’t have TV, internet, or video games. Each Saturday, his parents hold a conference with their children where they ask them two questions: what have you learned that is true, and what problem do you have? The conferences only stop when Booker’s older brother Adam goes missing. Booker’s parents call the police to help find Adam, but the police only check to see if Booker’s father had a police record. When they find out that he doesn’t, they give up looking for Adam.

Then, in the spring, Adam is found in a culvert. Booker goes with his father to identify Adam’s body. At the funeral, the crowds only make Booker feel lonelier. In the days after, only an aunt, Queen, traveled from California to attend Adam’s funeral, seems to understand Booker’s pain and tries to comfort him.

When Adam went missing, Booker’s father stopped playing music in the house. After Adam’s funeral, Booker worries that another tragedy could take away music again, so he asks his father if he can take trumpet lessons. Six years later, Booker is a decent trumpet player, and the man who murdered Adam is caught and charged with the “sexually stimulated slaughter” of Adam and five other boys. Everyone describes the man as the “nicest man in the world.” When police search his house, they find a mattress with dried blood on it and a candy tin with “carefully wrapped pieces of dried flesh.” The man, a retired auto mechanic who repaired appliances at people’s homes, would tie up the children while he molested them. He also tortured them and amputated body parts.

When Adam’s killer is found, the public seems like it won’t be satisfied unless the man is beheaded. In the clamor, Booker struggles to “individualize his feelings”—to separate his pain from the anger of other families and the public in general. Going to college helps distract Booker. But by his junior year, he becomes depressed. He applies to graduate school to try and learn something worthwhile in a place that might “accommodate his despair.” After he receives his master’s degree, Booker goes home to celebrate. At home, the room he once shared with Adam is completely different, and Booker’s skateboard, identical to the one Adam had with him when he went missing, is gone. Booker picks a fight with his family, asking them why they want to forget Adam. His father says that people grieve in different ways, and that Booker can either be civil—or he can leave. Booker leaves. 

After this, Booker moves in with his girlfriend, Felicity. One night, they are out watching live music, and Booker goes backstage to ask the band if he can play with them sometime. The band initially dismisses him, but then they invite him to a Friday set, when it will matter less if he messes up. Booker auditions and then plays with the band every Friday. When the band breaks up, Booker and a few of the other members start to play on the streets. Booker’s relationship with Felicity starts to fray, and the last straw comes when Booker is arrested. The arrest happens after Booker sees a man and a woman smoking crack in a car—and a two-year-old child in the car with them. Booker then pulls the man out of the car and beats him. Felicity pays the fine to get Booker out of jail.

After Booker and Felicity break up, Booker inherits money from his grandfather at just the right time. The money allows him to rent his own apartment. Then, his life changes the moment he sees Bride. The music he plays after he sees her is unlike anything he has ever played before. He sees her again a few weeks later when both of them are standing in line at a concert. Booker makes sure to be close to Bride, and during the concert, he wraps his arms around her waist and dances with her. After that, their relationship is flawless. Bride is “knock-down beautiful,” and he especially likes that she doesn’t ask about his personal life. Every so often, Bride loses her cool business façade and tells Booker a meaningful memory from childhood. Six months in, though, the “fairy-tale castle collapse[s],” and Booker leaves.