A Visit from the Goon Squad

A young woman named Sasha stands in the bathroom of the Lassimo Hotel, when she notices a bag on the floor. The owner of the bag is going to the bathroom in one of the stalls. Sasha mocks the woman’s blind trust. She thinks that in New York City, a person will steal the hair off of your head if you give them a chance. She reasons that not taking the wallet would be dull, so she decides to live dangerously, and steals it.

The narrative shifts, and it becomes clear that Sasha is recounting this episode to her therapist, Coz. Her therapist tries to get her to say the word steal. Since her “condition” started five years ago, Sasha has been unable to accept responsibility for her stealing. Sasha has stolen keys, sunglasses, a child’s striped scarf, binoculars, and pens, among other things. She no longer steals from stores because she finds the items cold and inert. She only steals from people.

Coz calls the feeling Sasha gets when she steals “the personal challenge,” and considers it a way to assert her individuality. He attempts to switch this challenge around in her mind, so the challenge becomes the resistance of the urge. Meanwhile, Sasha has her own questions about Coz. She wonders if he is gay or straight, if he has written famous books, or if he is a con man posing as a therapist. She has decided to resist her urge to look into this.

During their therapy sessions, Sasha rests on a blue leather couch, and Coz sits behind her. This relieves him of the burden of eye contact, which he finds tiring. Sasha stares out the window, and continues the story of stealing the wallet.

In the story, Sasha is on a boring date with a man named Alex. Alex stares at the television in the bar while Sasha tells him stories about her old boss, Bennie Salazar. Sasha goes to the bathroom and returns with the stolen wallet. After stealing it, she feels a strong sense of possibility in the evening. She sits back at the table and gives Alex what she calls her “yes/no smile.” Alex asks if she is happy. She tells him she is always happy, but sometimes she forgets.

Sasha asks Alex if he wants to go somewhere else, and he agrees. As he stands, she examines his body. She can tell he is in very good shape, not because he works out, but because he is young. Sasha feels like she has passed that point in her life. Not even her therapist knows her true age. Most people, when asked, place her in her 20s, and the closest anyone has come is 31. She works out daily and avoids the sun. Her online profiles say she is 28.

The narrative switches back to the therapist’s office. Coz asks Sasha if she ever considers how stealing makes her victims feel. Sasha understands the question has a correct answer, and that Coz is trying to help her get well. She knows where the story is supposed to end—she should stop stealing and return to the things that once guided her life: music and friends. She thinks of a set of goals she had written when she first moved to New York, which included finding a band to manage, understanding the news, studying Japanese, and practicing the harp.

Sasha tells Coz she doesn’t think about the people she steals from. She knows that Coz does not think it is because of a lack of empathy. Sasha once told him about an incident when she stole a screwdriver from a plumber who was fixing her tub. As the plumber is on the floor, she sees the screwdriver and feels compelled to hold it. She easily slips it from his tool belt, thinking her hands were made for stealing. The screwdriver feels special to Sasha while the plumber is there, but after he leaves, it feels like any other screwdriver. Afterward, she feels bad about her actions, which is why she is bankrupting herself to pay for therapy.

Often, Coz tries to connect the figure of the plumber to Sasha’s father, who disappeared from her life at the age of six. She rejects this idea, stating that she doesn’t even remember her father. Sasha thinks that she does this for both Coz’s protection and her own, as she feels acknowledging the pain of this situation would interfere with the redemption story they are attempting to write through their therapy.

The story shifts back to the night of the wallet theft. As Sasha and Alex leave the hotel, a woman approaches and tells them that someone stole her wallet and she has to catch a plane in the morning. Alex steps up to help the woman. Sasha begins to worry once Alex tells the concierge to call security. She remembers she has a Xanax in her purse, but she can’t open it for fear the woman will see her wallet. She watches Alex get angry at the injustice of the situation. Sasha notes that he is new to New York, and seemingly still has a thing or two to prove about how people should treat one another.

When the security guards arrive, Sasha tells Alex she will go search the bathroom. Once inside, she takes a Xanax in her mouth and chews it, because they work faster this way. As she looks for a place to put the wallet, the woman comes into the bathroom. Their eyes meet in the mirror. Sasha hands the woman the wallet and tells her she has a problem with stealing. Sasha then feels a warm rush, as if her body and the woman’s had fused together.

The woman stares at Sasha, and Sasha wonders what the woman sees in her face. Sasha wants to stare into the mirror again—she wonders if something about herself might be revealed—but she doesn’t turn. Sasha realizes that the woman is close to her age, and thinks she probably has children at home. The woman agrees not to say anything. Sasha thanks her, and feels a rush of relief as the Xanax kicks in.

Sasha and Alex leave the hotel and walk through the Tribeca neighborhood in Lower Manhattan. Sasha hates the neighborhood since the World Trade Center was destroyed on September 11th. The buildings had always given her hope. She feels tired of Alex, having moved past the desire to find connection through shared experience, to a feeling that they know one another too well.

Sasha and Alex talk about the wallet incident. Sasha lies, telling him she found the wallet in the bathroom behind a planter. Alex finds it strange, stating that the woman seemed like she did it on purpose to get attention. One thing he has learned in New York City is that it is hard to tell who people really are. Everyone seems to have multiple personalities, he says. Sasha tells him he will get used to it.

They arrive at Sasha’s apartment, where she has lived for six years. She keeps the things she has stolen on display around the apartment. Her bathtub, which is in the kitchen, impresses Alex. Sasha tells Alex she never uses it since she showers at the gym. Alex loves the apartment, and tells Sasha it feels like old New York. Sasha tries to see the apartment as Alex does. She believes the charm of New York will fade for Alex, the way it has for her. She also thinks that Alex will forget her.

In the living room, Alex asks Sasha about the stolen objects laid out on tables around the apartment. Sasha then remembers stealing a child’s scarf—she remembers it falling from the child, and the excuses she told herself to keep it. When she brought the scarf home, she washed it by hand, and folded it neatly. It is one of her favorite objects. Sasha is drawn to Alex as he looks at the objects, which she sees as years of her life compressed. She feels as if Alex were looking at the raw and warped core of her life. She kisses him, and pulls him to the floor.

After they finish having sex, Sasha is left with a terrible sadness. Alex asks Sasha if he can take a bath in the tub. He leaves the room, and Sasha collapses onto a chair. As Alex draws his bath, Sasha sees his jeans on the floor. He comes back into the room, and stares again at the stolen objects. He asks if he can use a packet of bath salts (which Sasha stole from her friend, Lizzie, before they stopped speaking). Sasha never uses the objects she steals, feeling it would imply greed or self-interest. When she agrees to let Alex use the salts, she feels she has taken a symbolic step, but is unable to tell whether it is in a good or bad direction.

Alex puts the salts in the bath, and Sasha is reminded of Lizzie’s bathroom, where she would shower after they went running in Central Park. Alex goes to the bathroom, and after closing the door Sasha takes his wallet from the pocket of his jeans. Sasha sifts through the contents, until a little scrap of paper falls out. The paper is very old and torn at the edges. It says I BELIEVE IN YOU. Sasha feels ashamed for having gone through Alex’s wallet. Before Alex comes out, she puts his wallet back, but keeps the piece of paper.

The narrative then cuts to the therapist’s office. Coz asks Sasha if she put the paper back. Sasha says she didn’t have a chance, but Coz is skeptical. She wishes she could tell him that stealing the paper was a turning point, that she reconnected with her friend Lizzie, and that she has changed. She asks Coz not to ask her how she feels, and he agrees. They sit there in silence, and Sasha is aware of the minutes of Coz’s time slipping away.