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Summary
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Still Alice, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Ambition and Success
Loss of Identity
Illness, Marriage, and Family
Alzheimer’s, Quality of Life, and Happiness
Summary
Analysis
The narration states that, “more than a year earlier,” neurons in a woman’s head began dying without a known reason. Some believed it was either “molecular murder or cellular suicide.” There was no way for these neurons to send a warning of what was happening.
This description of dying neurons conveys to the reader both how dramatic the progress of Alzheimer’s within the brain is, and how it is something that can gradually sneaking up on an individual with no warning or early indication of what’s happening.
Themes
Alice is sitting in her bedroom trying to finish a peer review of a paper that was submitted for publication in an academic journal. She is distracted by the noise her husband, John, is making downstairs as he prepares to rush out the door. The clock next to her says it’s 7:30, but she knows it’s fast and continues to watch it while she waits for the inevitable: John will call to her to ask if she knows where whatever he’s lost is.
The first indication of Alice’s career success in academia is that she is working on a peer review, a task relatively few people qualify for, and only if they are absolute experts in their field. Her intuitive knowing that John has lost something and that he will ask her for help also indicates that she knows him on a very deep level, as is typical with couples who have been married for a long time.
Themes
Alice goes downstairs when John calls her and he tells her that he’s lost his glasses somewhere. Alice finds his glasses in the kitchen and wonders how John, “someone so smart, a scientist” could “not see what was right in front of him.” Alice, however, has also recently taken to losing things and finding them “in mischievous little places.” This isn’t something she shares with John, but assumes it is the result of “excessive multitasking and being way too busy” and age.
Alice wonders how “someone so smart, a scientist” isn’t able to see what’s going on “right in front of [them].” This thought takes on a deeper meaning later when she is told about her diagnosis and learns that she may have displayed signs and symptoms for longer than she believed. However, this observation also places partial blame on John: he isn’t really looking at his wife and paying attention to what is different about her, even if they are still minor differences. Even though she doesn’t realize it, her struggle with losing things is an early warning sign of what’s to come.
Themes
Alice brings John his glasses and follows him as he hurries to the door. Alice asks him if he will be home when she gets back on Saturday and he tells her he doesn’t know because he has work to do in the lab. He tells her to have a good trip and warns Alice to “try not to battle with [Lydia].” Alice looks at John’s reflection in the mirror and considers whether or not to enter the “same, bottomless argument” over his warning. Instead, she tells John it’s been a long time since she’s seen Lydia and asks him to try to be home, and he says he’ll try.
Like Alice, John is also clearly busy with his own academic work in a lab. John’s comment about not fighting with Lydia and Alice’s description of it as the “same, bottomless argument” also reveals tension between them: this is something they can’t effectively talk about despite their long marriage. It also reveals that Alice has a tense relationship with Lydia and struggles to get along with her.
Themes
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John gives Alice a lingering kiss before heading out the door. Alice thinks about “romanticiz[ing]” the kiss, but doesn’t because she knows it’s his way of preemptively apologizing for not being home when she gets back from her trip. Alice thinks about the time earlier in their relationship when they would walk to Harvard together and talk about the classes they’re teaching, research they’re doing, and their children. Although Alice “savored the relaxed intimacy” of these walks, it has also been a long time since they walked to work together, partially because Alice has been away at research conferences for the past few months.
Although Alice fights to urge to “romanticize” the kiss between her and John, there is no indication that John means it to be romantic. What this says about their marriage is that Alice might be missing a sense of intimacy and romance with her husband, but likely doesn’t recognize that in herself. This is yet another instance of a struggle with communication in their marriage. Work, it would seem, has come between them in a rather insidious way as they both go their own way to pursue their ambitions.
Themes
Alice returns to her room to finish the peer review she had been working on, but her “fragmented state of mind and lack of time” prevent her from living up to “her typical standard of excellence.” She sends off the peer review, anyway, blaming John for having distracted her with his warning not to argue with Lydia. Alice hurriedly repacks her suitcase and prepares to go to Stanford, where she will give a speech and then see Lydia, her youngest daughter.
That Alice’s mind has become “fragmented” so easily after saying goodbye to John could be another early indication of her disease, and she is allowing it to get in the way of her work performance. It is also telling that she blames John rather that stepping back to examine the potential underlying causes of why her mind is so easily “fragmented.” This is a form of denial that protects her from having to admit that something more serious might be going on in her mind.
Themes
Alice arrives at Stanford and finds the conference room full of people already, including an old classmate named Josh. Josh and Alice talk about her time teaching at Harvard and he tells her she should teach at Stanford instead. The head of Stanford’s psychology department, Gordon Miller, interrupts their conversation and passes out champagne to toast a professor who just received tenure, an important achievement in any professor’s career.
This scene highlights how at ease Alice has become in the academic world. Both Harvard and Stanford are Ivy League schools—the fact that she is respected at both highlights just how successful she has become.
Themes
Once the group is done toasting the professor and everyone has finished eating and drinking, Gordon introduces Alice as “the eminent William James Professor of Psychology at Harvard University.” He praises her work she’s done over the past 25 years in the field of psycholinguistics and her interdisciplinary work in studying “the mechanisms of language.” Gordon calls Alice up to the stage to deliver her speech, and she thinks of how—unlike so many other people, her husband included—she has no fear of public speaking.
It is a further indication that Alice has truly achieved something great in her career that she has been asked to speak at Stanford and that others consider her “eminent” in the field. Her ease with speaking publicly—especially to a crowd of other well-respected professors at Stanford—demonstrates her comfort within her role, as well as the enjoyment she gets from talking about her research and findings.
Themes
Alice opens up her 50-minute presentation on “the mental processes that underlie the acquisition, organization, and use of language.” This is information she has been presenting on for years, but it is also information that she herself had discovered and pioneered. She is comforted by the knowledge that her “contributions mattered” and would continue to matter for many years. However, as she goes over this familiar information, she becomes stuck on a word and “simply couldn’t find” it, what it sounded like, or what letter it began with in her mind.
Alice has made a permanent mark on the field of psycholinguistics, and she is aware that her influence will be felt for years. Although this is the result of many years of hard work and long hours, it also shows that this is a field she truly thrives in and is passionate about. This is not a career she entered solely for money, but to contribute something that “mattered.” It is ironic, then, that she, who has helped pioneer discoveries in a language-based field, suddenly loses a word. Furthermore, this is a word that she is familiar with and uses in her work. The loss of language, no matter how much, is thus far more alarming thing than misplacing keys or glasses for Alice.
Themes
As an unfamiliar sense of panic arises, Alice wonders if the champagne she drank is to blame for this “lost” word. She doesn’t usually drink before speaking because she wants to stay sharp when answering questions and engaging in “rich, unscripted debate” with the audience. Alice’s mind “scour[s] its corners for the word and a rational reason for why” she can’t find it, but she is unable to find one and instead focuses on breathing to ease her panic.
Alice’s panic further reveals just how comfortable she had become with public speaking and how good she is at it: this is an unfamiliar problem for her, and the unfamiliar scares her. This is the first time Alice is shown trying to understand why she has forgotten something, which is the first step to admitting something serious might be going on.
Themes
Alice “replace[s] the still blocked word” with “thing” and moves on to another slide in her presentation. Although the pause she took to find the missing word seemed awkward to her, she sees no sign that the audience took much note of it until she sees Josh whispering and smiling to the woman next to him. It’s not until her plane is landing at LAX that Alice remembers the word she had “lost”: lexicon.
In this case, Alice’s forgetfulness also makes her self-conscious and keenly aware that those around her will judge her based on her performance. She has a strong reputation, so having to replace “lexicon” with “thing” is humiliating to her. The fact that Alice is still thinking about losing a word when she’s at the airport much late also shows that this experience stuck with her and cannot be ignored or put aside in the same way she brushed off misplacing items around the house.
Themes
Alice’s daughter Lydia has been living in Los Angeles, California for the past three years. She should have graduated college by now, but after taking a gap year in Europe Lydia had decided to pursue acting in LA instead of formal education. Alice is disappointed, especially because she thinks Lydia is smarter than her other two children, both of whom went to college and went on to become a doctor and a lawyer. Part of Alice’s anger is directed at herself for having allowed Lydia so much freedom growing up. To Alice’s surprise, John supports Lydia’s decision.
Lydia is clearly the rebel of the family, choosing traveling and acting over intellectual achievement at a prestigious university like the rest of the Howlands. Because Alice has dedicated so much of her life to academics, it is difficult for her to understand why Lydia would not want to do the same. Unlike John, who supports Lydia, Alice cannot understand her daughter’s choices, which is at the root of the tension between them.
Themes
Alice arrives at Lydia’s Los Angeles apartment, but is greeted with confusion because Lydia thought Alice was supposed to arrive at 8:00 and it’s only 5:45. Lydia looks “indecisive and panicky,” but invites her mother in and they share an awkward hug. Alice notes that Lydia has lost weight and worries that it was on purpose to get roles, but doesn’t say anything. Lydia tells her mother that she made reservations at a restaurant for 9:00 and excuses herself to call them.
Lydia’s “panicky” look when Alice arrives reveals that she, too, is aware of the tension and is worried about whether or not they will, as John said earlier, “battle” over something. The mother and daughter are clearly not comfortable with each another, but Alice’s attention to changes in Lydia’s weight also reveals how concerned she is for her daughter—in spite of their differences, she loves her deeply.
Themes
Alone in the living room of the apartment, Alice notices that it is freshly cleaned and there is a pile of men’s shoes by the door. Lydia comes back into the room and Alice asks her about her roommates. Lydia tells her that they are at work and that their names are Doug and Malcolm. Alice notices a peculiar look in Lydia’s eyes when she mentions Malcolm, but Lydia changes the subject and says they should go. Alice first excuses herself to the bathroom, where she takes note of what’s on the counter. The sight of Lydia’s tampons reminds Alice that she hasn’t had a period in several months. She isn’t alarmed by this because she’s near 50 and is likely menopausal. Before leaving the bathroom, Alice sees a box of condoms and decides to ask Lydia more questions about Malcolm.
Despite their struggling relationship, Alice knows Lydia well enough to be able to tell just by looking at her that something is going on between her and Malcolm. It is also telling that Alice spends so much time looking around Lydia’s bathroom: this is how she feels most comfortable getting to know her daughter and what is going on in her life. The sight of condoms also forces Alice to confront a new worry: what if Lydia gets pregnant? Between the look on Lydia’s face when she mentioned Malcolm and the condoms in the bathroom, Alice has a sense that her daughter is having a serious relationship with him and wants to know what kind of person he is and what this could mean for Lydia’s future.
Themes
Alice and Lydia go to a “trendy” place in downtown Los Angeles for dinner and order dinner and some drinks. Lydia asks a few mundane questions about the family and Alice asks her where she met her roommates. Lydia begins to tell her she met them while working at Starbucks just as a waiter comes and takes their orders. As the waiter walks away, Alice repeats the question, which irritates Lydia and makes her ask Alice why she doesn’t “ever listen to anything” she says.
This early part of Alice and Lydia’s conversation reveals that they only safe topics of conversation between them are those that have to do with other people, not themselves. Lydia’s immediate jump to irritation with Alice having to repeat her question indicates that she feels misunderstood by her mother. Lydia asks Alice why she doesn’t “ever listen,” indicating that this is an issue that has been simmering between them for some time.
Themes
Lydia and Alice discuss how much Lydia is working and Alice notes that Lydia’s schedule doesn’t leave her “a lot of time for acting.” Lydia explains that she isn’t cast in anything at the moment, but is taking an acting workshop and auditioning for parts. Alice asks Lydia “what exactly is [her] plan” in LA, and Lydia responds that she’s not going to stop what she’s doing. This leads to a “dangerously familiar conversation” between them. Alice tells Lydia eventually she will “need to be [financially] responsible,” but Lydia argues that she might make enough from acting. They argue over Lydia not going to college, but suddenly Lydia reveals that John is paying for her acting workshops. Alice doesn’t respond because “[w]hat she wanted to say next wasn’t meant for Lydia.”
Alice perceives the fact that Lydia is not cast in any plays and is simply taking workshops as a sort of failure, which is why she wants to know Lydia’s “plan.” Alice wants nothing more than for all of her children to succeed like she and John have, so it is both frustrating and concerning to her that Lydia seems to be failing by their family’s standards. Like her argument with John over Lydia, this argument with Lydia is “dangerously familiar,” something they have tried and failed to resolve between them more than once in the past. When Lydia reveals the fact that John is financially supporting her workshops, Alice sees this as a betrayal. John knows Alice’s feelings about Lydia’s choice, and, to Alice, it seems as if he has gone behind her back to do something that he knows she wouldn’t agree with.
Themes
Lydia accusingly says to Alice, “You’ve never even seen me act.” Alice admits to herself that Lydia’s right and remembers the time John had flown to LA to see Lydia in a play while Alice stayed behind with some “urgent things” that had to be done, although she no longer remembers what they were. Alice worries about what will happen to Lydia if acting doesn’t “pan out.” Remembering the condoms in the bathroom, Alice also worries about what might happen if Lydia gets pregnant and finds herself “trapped” in an unfulfilling life. In Lydia, Alice sees “so much wasted potential, so much wasted time” and tells her, “Life goes by too fast.” Lydia agrees.
Lydia’s accusation highlights a specific stubbornness on Alice’s part. Not only does she not like Lydia’s decision, she has not made an effort to see her act and therefore cannot possibly know whether Lydia is good at it or not. This also shows that Alice’s bias against Lydia’s acting has no basis other than the fact that Lydia has chosen it over college. Lydia recognizes this and believes that if Alice would come to see her act, then Alice would admit that she is good at it and stop pressuring Lydia into going to college. Alice sees the potential for greatness in Lydia, but doesn’t like that Lydia won’t achieve this greatness in the way Alice wants her to.
Themes
The food Alice and Lydia ordered is brought to the table, but neither of them can eat at first. Alice mourns that they “always fell into the same battle” and never reached a compromise. She wants to hug Lydia, but there are “too many dishes, glasses, and years of distance between them.” A few tables away, Alice and Lydia notice a sudden commotion as photographers start snapping pictures of a woman. Alice asks who the woman is and Lydia, embarrassed, tells her it’s Jennifer Aniston.
Alice wants to be closer to Lydia and does not enjoy the “years of [emotional] distance between them,” but her pride prevents her from backing down and accepting Lydia’s choices, which is the only way they’ll be able to grow closer. In the midst of this is Alice’s failure to recognize Jennifer Aniston, who is a well-known celebrity, particularly in the early 2000s when Still Alice is set. This could be another indication of Alice’s forgetfulness progressing without being noticed.
Themes
As they eat dinner, Alice and Lydia carefully stick to “safe” topics of conversation. Alice recognizes that Lydia is still mad, and so she puts off asking questions about Malcolm. They finish dinner and begin walking to the car, but on the way a waiter comes running out after them to give Alice back her BlackBerry, which she had forgotten at the table. Alice doesn’t remember using it at the table and decides she must have taken it out while searching for her wallet. Lydia looks at her “quizzically,” as if she wants to say something, but doesn’t and they go back to her apartment without talking.
Once again Alice experiences a disturbing lapse in her short-term memory. This is something that she, again, is easily able to brush off because it is such a seemingly minor thing, but Lydia’s quizzical glance shows that she harbors a different suspicion. For most of the dinner, however, they have stuck to “safe” topics, and Lydia’s choice not to say something to Alice when she clearly wants to is yet more evidence of their difficulty with being honest and open.
Themes
Alice returns home and, as she predicted, John is not there. She searches the kitchen for a note or message from him explaining his absence, but there is none and she becomes angry at him. In a bid to fight off her irritation, Alice decides to take a run. This is something she used to do every day, but she had “neglected” the habit in the past few months. Even though she tries to tell herself that the reason she didn’t bring her running shoes to LA is because she knew she wouldn’t have time, the truth is that she forgot.
Alice’s irritation at John this time is about his failure to be there for her in the way she wanted him to be—he has chosen work over being available to her. Once again Alice also talks herself out of being concerned about her faulty memory, instead finding excuses instead of admitting that she wasn’t able to remember her shoes for an activity that she is used to doing every day.
Themes
Whenever Alice goes for a run, she “invariably follow[s] the same route,” which is about five miles long. She imagines running in the Boston Marathon one day and running “well into her sixties.” Although the first portion of her run is through a crowded area where she needs to stay focused, the rest of it is spent “completely in the zone” and she is able to let go of her worries over Lydia and anger with John.
Alice’s thoughts about running for years to come shows just how sure she is that that she is healthy: she is planning for a happy future that involves her being able to do the things that bring her joy. Alice’s life is all about thinking, worrying, and planning, but running gives her an escape from all that because it gives her something to focus on other than work, family, and even herself.
Themes
Alice stops running when she gets to JFK Park. She feels more relaxed and prepares to walk home, but at a crosswalk she is grabbed by “someone selling God” and it startles her. Alice escapes across the street, but suddenly finds that she doesn’t know where she is. She recognizes different buildings and is having no problem reading signs, but “they somehow didn’t fit into a mental map that told her where she lived relative to them.” In what “felt like panic,” Alice continues walking without knowing where. The noise of the traffic becomes “unbearable,” so Alice closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens her eyes, she just as suddenly remembers how to get home.
Alice’s feeling of being lost even in the most familiar of places is reminiscent of her early experience losing a word during her presentation: the subject matter of that presentation and the geography of this place are both extremely familiar to her, but she is inexplicably lost in them. Once again, Alice panics, unable to account for what is happening and confronted with a memory lapse that she cannot explain away or ignore. The description of the noise around her as “unbearable” also implies that she is becoming more sensitive to sound and at least part of her confusion is due to sensory overload, something she might not have been as prone to before.
Themes
Alice walks back home as quickly as she can. John is home when she gets there. John asks about Lydia, which reminds Alice that she had been mad at him. She confronts him about funding Lydia’s acting workshops, but John refuses to stay and talk because he has to go back to work. John asks Alice if she wants to walk with him and talk on the way, but she tells him she needs to stay home to talk to him. John tells her she’s being “awfully needy,” which puts an end to the argument. John kisses her goodbye and walks out the door.
When John tells Alice that she is being “needy,” he unwittingly makes her feel ashamed of herself and unwilling to share her experience in Harvard Square with him. Alice has always been strong and independent; she does not want to lose that part of her identity in John’s eyes. This situation also highlights John’s lack of emotional intelligence. He is unable to see that Alice has just been through something traumatic and is craving his presence and possibly some reassurance. Instead, he again chooses to go back to work and leaves her alone.
Themes
Now that Alice is alone, “with no one to confess to or confide in,” she feels “the full emotional impact” of the disorientation she experienced on her run. Shaking, Alice thinks back to the “lost” word during her presentation and her missed periods and looks up the symptoms of menopause. Among them are “disorientation, mental confusion, memory lapses” as well as mood swings and irritability. Alice accepts this explanation for what happened but makes a note to see a doctor. Comforted, Alice reads some articles and goes to bed before John makes it back home.
Without John there, Alice feels freer to vent to her emotions, showing just how unwilling she is to show weakness around her husband. However, John’s departure also leaves her free to really think about her recent memory problems. She is able to find something that she accepts as a solution (menopause), allowing her to continue to live in denial of how serious her problems may be for a little longer.
Themes
