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October 2003
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Still Alice, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Ambition and Success
Loss of Identity
Illness, Marriage, and Family
Alzheimer’s, Quality of Life, and Happiness
Summary
Analysis
Alice goes to see Dr. Tamara Moyer, who has been her regular physician for the past 22 years. Alice tells her that she’s been having memory problems and thought they were normal symptoms of menopause, but now she wants Dr. Moyer’s opinion because her period has since come back. Alice describes the memory problems she’s been having and is comforted by the fact that Dr. Moyer doesn’t seem worried.
Although Alice is finally seeking medical advice about her forgetfulness, her choice to start the appointment off by describing her most mild forgetfulness instead of bringing up the more concerning events indicates that she’s not quite ready to come to terms with the extent of her memory problems. Dr. Moyer’s lack of apparent concern is what gives Alice the courage to then describe the most serious memory problems she’s had.
Themes
However, when Alice tells Dr. Moyer about becoming disoriented on her run, Dr. Moyer looks up and is apparently concerned. Dr. Moyer asks Alice if she experienced any other physical symptoms, like dizziness or numbness, and some other questions about aspects of her lifestyle like sleeping habits, medications, and illnesses Alice tells Dr. Moyer that she hadn’t experienced any other physical symptoms and describes her healthy lifestyle. As Dr. Moyer asks more questions, Alice struggles to follow “the reasoning behind them.”
Becoming disoriented in a familiar place is obviously not normal, which is why Dr. Moyer becomes suddenly interested. Her questions are designed to root out potential causes that could explain it (numbness might indicate a stroke, for example, and disorientation could be a side-effect of a new medication). The fact that Alice, a highly intelligent woman, is struggling to understand why these questions are being asked could be due to the rapid deterioration and death of her neurons, or simply rooted in a denial of the problem.
Themes
Dr. Moyer’s questions turn to Alice’s mental state and she asks Alice if she’s feeling anxious or if she could be depressed. Alice had experienced a depressive episode after the deaths of her mother and sister, so she knows she’d be able to recognize it if she was: “This was entirely different. This wasn’t a job for Prozac.” Dr. Moyer asks Alice a few final questions about her drinking habits (Alice only drinks socially) and drug habits (Alice doesn’t use drugs) before Alice asks if she’s in menopause. Dr. Moyer tells her that she is in menopause, but that she doesn’t think menopause is the cause of her memory problems.
As Dr. Moyer’s questions turn to Alice’s mental state, there is a small shift in Alice’s attitude. Her mental assertion that “This wasn’t a job for Prozac” indicates that she’s aware of how serious this could possibly be: it’s not going to be a simple explanation and a pill won’t make it go away. Yet even though she admits that her symptoms are not the kind that will have a simple solution, Alice is not ready to have it confirmed that they are not attributable to something normal like menopause.
Themes
Dr. Moyer’s answer worries Alice. With “her tidy and safe explanation shattered,” Alice begins to fear hearing what is actually wrong with her. Alice asks if her memory problems would clear up with more sleep, but Dr. Moyer doesn’t think this will help. Instead, Dr. Moyer tells Alice she needs to have bloodwork, an MRI, and other tests done. This will reveal if she’s had a stroke or if she has a tumor, which is something Alice hadn’t considered before. Alice asks Dr. Moyer what happens if the test comes back clean, but Dr. Moyer avoids answering the questions, which makes Alice suspicious.
Both of Dr. Moyer’s primary concerns (a stroke or a tumor) pose a real physical threat to Alice, which does concern her very much. However, Dr. Moyer’s refusal to directly answer Alice’s question about what happens if the tests are clean indicate that Dr. Moyer might actually be concerned that Alice’s memory problems are even more serious than a brain tumor.
Themes
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William James Hall is not a very pretty building like those found in Harvard Yard, but the view from Alice’s office window is stunning. It looks out over the Charles River and the window “also provide[s] her with a healthy awareness of life outside of Harvard.” Before she achieved tenure, her office was in the interior of the building, and because she couldn’t see outside, she would unwittingly work until well into the night.
The fact that Alice has an office with a window further emphasizes how successful she has become in her field. It is clear that Alice sees her office and the window as her natural reward for having spent so many years buried in her work for long hours with little awareness of life outside of her office. The fact that Alice can now look out a window also means that she is free to enjoy more of life outside of the confines of her work.
Themes
Alice walks away from her window to check her to-do list. She is scheduled to go to a conference in Chicago that afternoon, but first she has a cognition class to teach. Although she is familiar with the material she’s covering, Alice enjoys taking an hour before teaching to go over the material, both new and old. The addition of newer things into older lectures “ke[eps] her passionate about her course subjects and mentally present in each class.” Teaching is Alice’s favorite part of her job because it gives her the opportunity to “inspire the next generation in the field.”
Although Alice’s research is what helped her achieve so much success, it is her role as a professor that means the most to her. By inspiring the next generation of psycholinguists, Alice is also cementing her place in the field for generations to come. This also shows that her reputation is very important to her. It’s not just a big part of her identity in the moment, but what she will be known for even after she’s retired and no longer actively participating in research.
Themes
Before going to the classroom, Alice checks her email and finds a message from a colleague named Eric at Princeton, telling her that he is still waiting for her to send some slides for a presentation, which reminds Alice that this is what “Eric” meant on her to-do list several week before. Alice quickly sends the slides off, reassuring herself that there is “no harm done.”
This is the first time Alice has been confronted with the danger her memory problems pose to her work. Sending slides is something Alice would normally never have forgotten to do, and while she is able to shake it off by telling herself there’s “no harm done,” the implication is that harm might have been done to her professional relationship with Eric. More importantly, this might happen again, but next time it could actually cause a problem.
Themes
Alice gets to her classroom and opens her laptop to find the file with her lecture material in it. There are several files: “Acquisition, Syntax, Semantics, Comprehension, Modeling, and Pathologies.” Looking at them, Alice finds that she can’t remember which one she is supposed to be covering even though she has just spent an hour studying it.
This forgetting is even more concerning than forgetting to send the slides because, like the lost word from her Stanford presentation, there is an audience this time. This experience is also more serious because she’s not just forgetting a word, but a whole lecture that she had been studying moments before. It is also a memory problem that has a direct effect on her role as a professor, which, as has been seen, is the role of which she’s most proud.
Themes
Since her appointment with Dr. Moyer, Alice has become increasingly anxious about her memory lapses and decides that they are not “normal.” She believes she has a brain tumor, but still hasn’t told John about it because she doesn’t want to “freak out or worry” him until she has answers, which she will not get until after the conference in Chicago. Frustrated, Alice asks the class what they’re scheduled to cover that day and they tell her it’s “Semantics.” Alice reassures herself that her students believe she was just too busy to remember the syllabus and have no way of knowing she had just been studying the material.
Alice’s choice not to talk to John about her memory problems or her fear that she might have a brain tumor is yet another example of how averse she is to showing weakness in front of him. This is also suggests just how scared Alice is of what might be wrong. Although she is afraid that John will “freak out,” she’s also worried she won’t be able to hide her own fear. In her classroom, however, Alice is more at ease and is confident in her ability to hide the panic and confusion she feels at not being able to remember studying the lecture material just minutes before entering the classroom.
Themes
Outside, Alice enjoys a relaxed walk home in the crisp autumn weather. As she arrives home, Alice calls out to let John know she’s there. John emerges from his study and is visibly confused, but says nothing. Panicked, Alice believes something has happened with their children and waits for an answer. John asks her, “Aren’t you supposed to be in Chicago?”
After a long day of making seemingly small but concerning mistakes at work, Alice’s forgetting to get on a plane to Chicago is the most dramatic. Alice enjoyed and savored the walk home, which shows just how entirely she had forgotten that she had a flight at all. More importantly, this is an experience that John is seeing for himself—there is nothing Alice can do to hide it from him.
Themes
At her next appointment, Dr. Moyer tells Alice that her bloodwork and MRI came back normal. She tells Alice that they can “wait, see how things go” over the next three months, but Alice tells her that she wants to see a neurologist.
Alice’s immediate decision to see a neurologist shows that she recognizes that her memory problems are only intensifying rather than getting better—she can no longer deny the severity of the issue.
Themes
