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Chapter 14: Fourteen
Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in Reckoning, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Guilt and Legacy
Morality, Survival, and Perspective
Sexuality and Shame
Body Image and Publicity
Indifference vs. Feeling
Summary
Analysis
In the bathroom, Magda looks in the mirror; in her head, she calls herself a “lesbian.” Burying the “evil” word so it won’t become real, Magda opens the cabinet and stares at a bottle of sleeping pills. While some people are immune to society’s contempt, Magda views social exile as a fate worse than death. She remembers how the school separated and humiliated two girls who had been close and whom the school had suspected of being lesbians. In hiding her sexuality, Magda “becomes a lie.” Although Magda is prone to violent spells of emotion, no one in her family notices; Margaret is clinically depressed, and Peter is fleeing his own demons.
Magda has reached a point where she is contemplating suicide. The sleeping pills are either Peter or Margaret’s prescription, as both parents struggle with mental health and trauma. In this way, Margaret and Peter unknowingly endanger Magda with their own struggles to overcome their problems. What is more, Magda assigns “evil” to her sexuality, even though she does not, like Peter, have murder on her conscience. In this way, Magda’s parents’ mental health influences Magda’s mental health.
Themes
Out of loneliness, Magda starts an artistic friendship with Helen. Helen is a writer, and Magda decides to be an actress. Helen is a lesbian now, but she and Magda were not in love while in school. While Helen had always seemed more self-assured than Magda, she had not known she was a lesbian until later.
In befriending Helen, Magda starts to seek refuge in creativity and an artistic community. Her decision to be an actress—which ends up true eventually—is a way, like the sharpie gang, of attributing an identity to herself.
Themes
In ninth grade, Magda develops a huge appetite; she sneaks biscuits and Bailey’s Irish Cream, adding milk to the bottle to hide the evidence. When girls at school tease her, Magda loses many pounds to prove that she can, then she gains them back. Unable to fit into her uniform, Magda wears a raincoat. In her head, Magda calls herself weak and greedy.
Margaret enrolls Magda in Weight Watchers and takes her to dieticians; one doctor puts appetite-suppressing staples in Magda’s ear, but nothing works. Magda wonders why medicine cured Peter’s cancer but can’t save her from her own weakness. Although Magda’s grades suffer, she is selected to be a representative on a school quiz show on TV; she makes it to the final, then misspells the word “tournament”; she takes this as a sign and quits tennis. Although Peter is angry, he has already given up on Magda. Next year, Magda enrolls in science classes. Around this time, Sister Agnes leaves the convent to get married.
Even in her personal struggles, Magda is always comparing herself to her father. Through his influence, she has learned to abhor weakness in herself. However, her “weakness” seems to be an undeniable part of herself. Peter and Margaret attempt to cure Magda’s problems through external means instead of focusing on her emotional state. Margaret and Peter’s disregard for emotional and mental health leads Magda to regard those parts of herself as weakness.
Themes
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