H is for Hawk: Allegory 1 key example

Merlyn experiences time in reverse. This means that when he first meets young Arthur ("the Wart"), he has already experienced the rest of Arthur's life and death. Their meeting is tinged with both joy and grief because it is both a beginning (for the Wart) and an ending (for Merlyn). To Merlyn, this little boy inspires Christlike awe because Merlyn knows what a heroic king he is fated to become, even though he is nothing impressive yet.

Macdonald finds that grieving their father takes them out of forward-moving time, just like Merlyn. The moment their father is gone, they begin dwelling on him more than they ever have. They are so consumed by remembering that they struggle to plan for the future or participate in the ongoing business of daily life. They begin dreaming about their father as a child. At this time in his life, the little boy who would become Macdonald's father had no idea of his own significance to the person who would become his child. Macdonald looks at him like Merlyn looks at Arthur, in awe of their "once and future" father. Remembering their father like this seems important, but they can't quite figure out what to do with the memories or how to interact with this version of him. They feel as alone as Merlyn, whose ever-growing collection of memories from the future make him increasingly strange and unintelligible to those he encounters in the past.

Macdonald is reluctant to compare themself too closely to T. H. White, a very troubled man with dubious politics and a tragically misguided approach to raising a goshawk. However, they note ways in which White also resonates with his tragic portrayal of Merlyn in these books. Internalized homophobia and a history of trauma made White feel as though his life was not moving along the same timeline as anyone else's. He struggled to escape the ghosts of his past or imagine the kind of heteronormative future his peers were embracing. With Gos, he sought to explore and control "wild" parts of himself at a safe distance from other living humans. He sought fellowship among ancient, dead falconers, and he tried to find and train his past self the way Merlyn trains Arthur. The great tragedy of White's life, Macdonald comes to see, is the way he drove himself into an isolated (and misanthropic) existence like Merlyn's instead of finding a way to be himself among company.

The allegorical connections among Merlyn, White, and Macdonald are important to Macdonald's eventual realization that, more than a hawk, they need humans. Slowly, they reenter their community and begin to turn both grief and falconry from shields against humanity into experiences they can share with other living people. When they leave Mabel at a friend's aviary for the molting season, they (like Merlyn) know that Mabel will have forgotten them by the time they next meet. Instead of clinging tighter to Mabel or convincing themself that they must grieve alone, Macdonald takes comfort among fellow falconers and friends. Loss may feel lonely, but it turns out to be one of the most universal experiences there is.