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Jewel's Horse
The fish Vardaman catches for dinner early in the novel provides him with a meaningful symbol to understand the nature and meaning of death. After Addie's death, Vardaman realizes that the fish, like his mother, is now in a different state of existence than before, leading him to conclude, "My mother is a fish." This connection between Addie and fish emerges once again during the river episode, as Vardaman compares his mother's coffin to the fish in the river. The idea of the dead fish aids Vardaman's process of coping with loss, as he is only able to understand mortality and the idea of existence by looking at the concrete example of a fish, once alive, that he caught and cut up to be cooked for dinner.
Fish Quotes in As I Lay Dying
The As I Lay Dying quotes below all refer to the symbol of Fish. For each quote, you can also see the other characters and themes related to it (each theme is indicated by its own dot and icon, like this one:
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13. Vardaman
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“I will be where the fish was, and it all cut up into not-fish now.”
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15. Vardaman
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“It was not here. I was there, looking. I saw. I thought it was her, but it was not. It was not my mother….It was not here because it was laying right yonder in the dirt. And now it’s all chopped up. I chopped it up. It’s laying in the kitchen in the bleeding pan, waiting to be cooked and et.”
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19. Vardaman
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“My mother is a fish.”
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Fish Symbol Timeline in As I Lay Dying
The timeline below shows where the symbol Fish appears in As I Lay Dying. The colored dots and icons indicate which themes are associated with that appearance.
8. Tull
Vardaman emerges from the hill with a dead fish in his hand, proudly telling Anse and Tull that he plans to show it to...
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9. Anse
After a while, Vardaman returns to the house with the fish chopped up, and with his own body covered in blood. Anse tells Vardaman to go...
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13. Vardaman
...begins to cry after looking at the place in the dust where he placed the fish he caught. He notices that the fish he caught, now cut up, has become "not-fish"...
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14. Dewey Dell
...prepares greens and bread, but claims she does not have enough time to cook the fish Vardaman caught. Anse complains about the meagerness of the meal. When Cash comes into eat,...
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15. Vardaman
..."It was not my mother." He then connects this idea to the idea that the fish he caught was once alive, and is now chopped up, laying bleeding in the pan...
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16. Tull
...comes into the house wet and covered in mud, and continues to talk about the fish he caught and chopped up for dinner. Tull reasons that Vardaman's nonsensical words and strange...
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19. Vardaman
Vardaman states: "My mother is a fish."
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20. Tull
...be free from Anse. Cora and Tull leave the funeral and find Vardaman attempting to fish in a nearby bog on their way home. Tull tells Vardaman to come home with...
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24. Vardaman
Vardaman states once again that his mother is a fish, though Darl claims that Jewel's mother is a horse. Vardaman confusedly reasons that if Jewel...
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35. Vardaman
...does not succeed. Vardaman asks Darl where Addie is, reminding him that she is a fish, and that he let her get away.
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